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Gates of Hell Chili

2 cans chili beans
1 can Ro-tel diced tomatoes and green chiles
1 can crushed tomatoes
1 small can tomato paste
2 packets Chili-O chili seasoning
2 diced serrano chiles
1 ancho chile, diced
2 chiles arboles, ground
2 lbs coarsely ground beef
1 sharp white onion
3 cloves garlic
juice of half a lime
1/2 tsp orange zest
1 bottle beer (dos equis works well)
1/2 tsp cocoa
1 tsp chili powder
ground habanero (optional, only for masochists)
Garnish:
Chopped green onion
Chopped black olive
shredded cheddar, monterey jack
Sour cream

Dice onion and chop two of the garlic cloves finely. Brown with
ground beef in the bottom of a large pot. When meat is brown, add
chili seasoning, spices, chopped chiles, water, beans, and beer.
Simmer awhile. Slice the remaining garlic clove and add. Add the
tomatoes. Finally, add the grated orange zest and cocoa. These are
the secret ingredients. When you're asked for the recipe, and you
will be, never tell those. People will wonder why their chili is
never quite as good as yours.

Maybe add a little more water, or some more beer. Stir it. Simmer
it on medium to low heat, depending on how quickly you want to eat.
You can alter the amount and variety of chiles to your taste, as
well as the amount of garlic. This is even better the second day.

You can serve it in bowls as a stew, or you can crush up Fritoes
in the bottom of a baking dish, pour the chili over, sprinkle cheese
on top, and bake at 350 degrees for about 20 minutes for Frito pie.
Serve with chopped olives, green onion, shredded cheese, and a
little sour cream to kill the burn.

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